Saturday, March 14, 2009

Old Dog, New Tricks.

As I mentioned yesterday, this has been a supremely crummy week. I would love to cast blame for this crumminess on the full moon, the time change, or the fact that this week played host to a Friday the 13th, but alas, I am simply just not superstitious enough to do so. Instead, I am chalking this week up to a perfect storm of work + relationship + personal issues that all came to a head at precisely the same time, leaving me bobbing around like a cork at sea, in a Class 5 hurricane. Now, as most of you who read this weblog regularly know 1. I am relatively a glass is half full sort of sistah, and, 2. I am that way, despite the fact that the past year has been a challenging one, to say the least.

But this week was difficult in a whole new way. You see, I wasn't sure if I was on the right path.

There. I said it. It's out there.

Suddenly, I find myself working ten, twelve, fifteen hour days and never finding time to write or cook, which are the things I love to do the most. And, I have no time for crafting or photography, which fall second on my list. And, as a result, I feel like I am not the clever little monkey I was before I set out on this junket of mine. Basically--at the end of the day--I feel unfulfilled. And, in my book. that is unacceptable.

So, of course I got weepy. And felt sorry for myself. And I took that frustration out on others who had nothing to do with the path I chose or the situation I'm in.

But then, in between eating too much guacamole + crying on too many patient shoulders, I suddenly had a moment of clarity.

I need a change.
I need to change.

As Todd Beamer said, Let's Roll.

4 comments:

Jennifer said...

It's Jennifer, again, and I am right there with you. I have begun to make some changes in the last 8 days, but my pity party creeps in from time to time. Anyway, I like you enjoy cooking, crafting and photography, so thanks to your blog I am inspired to get back to them when the blues creep in.

PS I will be working the next few nights in a row (RN) but then I will be doing a ton of cooking getting ready for my Mom's 75th B-day party I am throwing. I'll send you some good recipes.

Best for your redirected path.

-Jenn

Anonymous said...

I want to thank you again ( I have commented in the past but wish to remain anonymous) on your blog entries. I alway feel that I am not alone when I read your blog. I have also felt like I am losing focus on whats important to me and after reading your blog am really making a conscious effort to change for the better and to do the things that give me joy. I tend to also be a glass 1/2 full person but the past month have been in a funk, hopefully I can snap out of that real soon! thanks again!

SUZANNE BROWN said...

Jenn. Hope your mom loved her sixty-tenth birthday party. My mom refuses to tell us her age, which drives me mad, as I'm of the school of wearing your years proudly, with honor.

I've decided to do my very best to take Fridays off this summer in order to do the things I love doing. I simply think that life is too short to sit at a computer for 12 hours a day until I'm practically brain dead. We'll give it a whirl and see what happens.

Hope you can carve some time out for doing happy things as well.

Keep in touch.

Love,
Suzanne

SUZANNE BROWN said...

Anonymous!

Last night I was sitting at my computer at 7:45 pm, lamenting the fact that I was still at my computer working when I could have been watching Seinfeld reruns, when I looked out the window next to my desk and noticed that IT WAS STILL LIGHT OUT. My mood instantly changed, for I knew that the season of happy was finally here. Before us lie six glorious months of sunshine, and hammocks, and gardens, and ice cream, and sprinklers, and sand castles, and fireflies, and barbecues, and open windows, and good moods.

Go for a walk this weekend + inhale some fresh, spring air. Cook something you've not cooked in a long time (preferably on the grill). Buy something colorful and summery.

The glass is not only half full when the weather changes. It is overflowing.

Love,
Suzanne